So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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