Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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