i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
