I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I still have a little drunk in my system
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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