Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
that may or may not have been my penis.
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