i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
