Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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