so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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