I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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