guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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