Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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