Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
