I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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