When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
