we have officially mastered the walk of shame
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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