You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
