Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
