wrigley field is MILF paradise
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
