I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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