okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
