but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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