I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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