what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
