my text book just quoted the cookie monster
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You need Xanax blowdarts
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
