nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
