Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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