You're completely useless in the revolution.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just pee around me
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
