bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We need to rekindle our bromance
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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