he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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