you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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