yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
