FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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