Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
