The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
