Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
