I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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