i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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