Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
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