You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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