just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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