i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
