I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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