woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Are we still banned from the library?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
