Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
