Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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