I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
