someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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