someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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