Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
