i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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