don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
