it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
