Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
