There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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