Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
