I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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