No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
