Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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