cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
