maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
