literally had 100 drinks last night.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We named our party play list daddy issues
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
