In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
